It’s been 4 days now since I had my masectomy

I still feel like crap!! like a mac truck ran over me twice…my entire left side is still sore in some places numb in others and disgustingly draining in places too…I’m just keeping it real…nothing pretty about what took place. I am blessed to be alive to have made it thru so don’t get me wrong and think I am not grateful because I truly am. But I am also still healing and going thru all of “this” alone.

Yes my youngest daughter has come to stay with me for now, and help take care of me and blu(her brother, our pit bull)and check on me and the things I need…I love her for that..because at 20 with her own car now, she could be anywhere else but here. My oldest is pregnant about to deliver soon and trying to keep her job so I can’t expect her to be here helpinhg because she can’t do

My cousin came over and sat with and talked with me Saturday, she said it didn’t look too bad, only I looked sick, and dehydrated which I was. My mom and older daughter and grandbabies and brother also came by Saturday, and visited with me which was nice..

I got a phone call from one of my favorite people Nicki, and that really cheered me up that she remembered and thought enough about me to call me and see how I was doing. My friend Benee also called me and is supposed to come over today after work, and visit me, and Victor should be back in town today also, so I assume he will want to stop by…other than that, noone has called me nor tried to come by..which is fine, as that small circle depicts my life of friends…if I did not mention them above, then they are more than likely just acquaintances and not really friends.. I have been in the bed mostly. I get up and try the physical therapy exercises which hurt like hell!!!!I stretch my arm and shoulder and back, and massage my collarbone too, but I HURT!!! the pain medicine puts me to sleep…so I try to limit taking it.I am using an ice pak that I can’t even feel under my arm…’s funny because where they removed 2-3 lymph nodes I really need the ice pak but when I try to put it there, I can’t feel a thing!!!looool…

I don’t have much of an apetite either….I keep looking down at where my breast was and what they did to reconstruct it..It looks like a  moon crater to me..I have 2 drains hanging out of my side literally..and an ice pak stuffed under my arm anyway hoping I feel it soon…I wanted to take a photo and post it…but it’s so disgusting right now….I thought better of  it. maybe I will feel more like myself soon..I hope so…this is the 1st of 2 surgeries…yes I have another one in Feb coming up the 2nd 1/2 of this one…I feel so nauseated right now..I’m just going to lay back down and sleep…..more later… muah


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