been a few days now…and I still hurt

Hello world…today is Dec 2nd and it’s been a few days since I last blogged, but I had hoped that by now I would be more positive and feeling much better… Truth is, I’m not.

I am still in so much pain I cannot believe anyone would choose this if they knew the pain it causes..I still have tubes draining (which are totally disgusting to me) I still have incision sites that are healing. I am supposed to be doing physical therapy exercises but I can’t because of the drains, and because of the pain I feel when I try.

My left arm and upper left side feels as though it’s stiffening up(which is not good) my back is sooo hurting…right now I am still sleeping half the days away, I try to go downstairs for a change of scenery, but can only do it for a few hours then it’s back upstairs to lay down in the bed. I have gotten out the house twice to get fresh air, and it felt really good to do so, but then I am back home in pain afterwards..

I was also hoping that the drains would be out by this Friday but it’s not looking too good right now. I want to get back to my Saturday radio talk show and cannot wait until I am physically ready..I have guest contacting me for interviews on my show so I do look forward to getting back up and running.

I would like to know when I will feel back to my old self or new self or just pain free…I still have another surgery coming up in Feb. 2010 which I am not looking forward to either.. I am home alone most of the time…noone comes to check on me until late in the day..and poor Blu(my pitbull) has to just suffer and wait for his big sister to come over or his daddy to come let him out. Even though I am single he still has a daddy and 2 sisters….

I really hate relying on others and depending on others to make time out of their life to come and help me or check on me….I am so not used to this nor being out of control of my life. I started to blog the other day and then hit the wrong key and lost it all..and with it went whatever thoughts I had, because I could not remember what I had started blogging about…roflmao  omg!!!

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